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Top 20 Drinking Quotes of All Time

Top 20 Drinking Quotes of All Time

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Writers and musicians have a long, storied history with alcohol, and that intimacy with the bottle shows through in the memorable lines these artists have dropped over the years. Check out our picks for the top 20 quotes about drinking. Did your favorite make the list?

1) "Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day." — Charles Bukowski

2) "I drink to make other people more interesting." ― Ernest Hemingway

3) "In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria." ― Benjamin Franklin

4) "After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world." ― Oscar Wilde

5) "For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication." ― Friedrich Nietzsche

6) "There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne." ― Bette Davis

7) "To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems." ― The Simpsons

8) "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." ― Ogden Nash

9) "One sip of this will bathe the drooping spirits in delight, beyond the bliss of dreams." ― John Milton

10) "Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol." — N.F. Simpson

11) "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver." — Jack Handey

12) "When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink." — Frantois Rabelais

13) "Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time." — Catherine Zandonella

14) "Wine is bottled poetry." — Robert Louis Stevenson

15) "I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it." — Raymond Chandler

16) "It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety." — Thomas de Quincy

17) "The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind." — H.L. Mencken

18) "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." — Dave Barry

19) "Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully." — Graham Greene

20) "Wine is sunlight, held together by water." — Galileo

— Jenny An, The Drink Nation

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Whiskey drinkers have never had it so good. Over the past decade or so, the number of varieties has exploded, presenting tipplers with a mind-boggling array of options. You can now drink bourbon that’s aged entirely on the ocean, a truly kick-ass rye, or Japanese single malts that beat the Scots in blind taste tests.

All this poses a serious—if highly welcome—dilemma: What the hell should I drink?

Fear not: Men’s Journal is on the case. In addition to putting our own taste buds to work, we recruited 18 top experts from the wide world of whiskey—writers, bartenders, restaurateurs (and in some cases, all three)—who have collectively sampled over 1,000 bottles. Somehow, we narrowed them down to these 50, most of which can be found at any good liquor store and none of which should fail to please.

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40 Funny Coffee Quotes That'll Wake You Right Up

Read these funny coffee quotes as you reach for another cup.

There&rsquos nothing quite like that first cup of coffee in the A.M. A few sips of the aromatic magic stuff later and you're suddenly awake and motivated to tackle your day head on. It's truly the best.

Whether you enjoy a cold brew, a latte, or a double shot of espresso, if you've landed on this page, chances are you are an enthusiastic fan of coffee. And so, in honor of International Coffee Day on September 29 (which we know you'll be celebrating), we&rsquove rounded up the best funny coffee quotes and caffeine-related humor we could find on the internet. Just make sure you have a fresh pot brewing nearby: After reading through these delightful sayings, you'll definitely be ready to fill up your mug.

Once you're done scrolling through this list, make sure to check out our recommended coffee subscriptions and our list of top-tested coffee accessories. Trust us, the coffee lover in your life will seriously appreciate it. After all, they love their morning cup(s) just as much as you do.

The 20 Greatest Hard-Drinking Athletes of All Time

If you go out and get hammered the night before, do you end up performing well at work the next day? Probably not. Then again, you&aposre probably not getting paid millions per year to do your job and the skills it requires probably weren&apost God-given. Both are just a couple more reasons to envy superstar athletes.

They love alcohol just like us but some of them perform just as well with ethanol running through their veins as they do with Gatorade. One example is Triple Crown winner Miguel Cabrera. He accomplished a feat that hadn&apost been done in 45 years this season but just one year ago everyone was freaking out over an epic bender that included him taking a swig of Scotch in front of the police. Cabrera isn&apost the only great athlete that loved to hit the bottle though. From Allen Iverson to Babe Ruth, check out the 20 Greatest Hard-Drinking Athletes of All Time.

Top 20 Drinking Quotes of All Time - Recipes

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

26 Fun Country Song Quotes to Keep You Smiling (and Singing) on Down The Road.

Life is pretty simple according to lyrics of some of our favorite country music songs. Don't cheat, love your mama, whiskey makes the bad (or good for that matter) news go down easier, and true love can be found behind the wheel of your favorite truck and by the side of trusty pup. But seriously, our favorite country music songwriters have a lot to teach us about the intricacies of life and love, and when it's time to just put on our cowboy boots and get our heels and toes a tappin'. Along with these quotes, there's a country song to guide you through all different seasons of your life. Maneuvering through a tough breakup? We're confident you'll find solidarity (and some good ideas for payback) in this list of theCountry Breakup Songs Everyone Can Relate To. Sitting around the fire opening presents at Christmastime and want some Country classics to sing along to? We've got the 52 Best Country Christmas Songs to sing at the top of your lungs. And if you're looking for a laugh, look no further than this list of funny country songs that will get you rolling on the floor.

"He was always proud of what he had
He said his greatest contribution
Is the ones you leave behind
Raised on the ways and gentle kindness
Of a small town Southern man"

"He said the way my blue eyes shine
Put those Georgia stars to shame that night
I said, 'That's a lie'"

"It was the first and the last time they saw each other face to face
They shared a crimson smile and just walked away
And left the secret at the grave"

"There's a man who walks beside me
He is who I used to be
And I wonder if she sees him
And confuses him with me"

"What's your guilty pleasure, your old go to?
Well if you asked me, mine would be you"

"And the stars might fall on Alabama
But one of these days I'm going to swing my hammer down
Away from this red dirt town
I'm going to make a joyful sound"

Hollywood’s 100 Favorite Movie Quotes

What topped the list? THR asked its entertainment industry readers to vote on the most memorable quote from every movie ever made. Ranked in descending order are the lines that made the cut.

THR staff

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Everybody has a favorite movie line, even movie moguls. Disney's Alan Horn likes, "I'll have what she's having," from When Harry Met Sally &hellip. Fox's Stacey Snider picks "You complete me," from Jerry Maguire. Tellingly, several top executives &mdash Viacom's Philippe Dauman , Netflix's Ted Sarandos &mdash choose "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse," from The Godfather.

Best Rodney Dangerfield Wife Jokes

7 What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

8 I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

9 My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

10 My wife’s cooking is so bad the flies fix our screens.

11 I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

Continue reading these best Rodney Dangerfield wife jokes below

12 My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo.

13 My wife had her driver’s test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

14 Once somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. She said: “No, but I did get the license number”.

15 My wife’s not to smart. I told her our kids were spoiled. she said, “all kids smell that way”.

16 It’s tough to stay married. My wife says no because she’s tired, then stays up and reads her book.

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The 50 Funniest Movie Quotes of All Time

What one finds funny, another finds off-color or out-of-touch. With this truth in mind, we offer up our favorite 50 funny quotes from films over the past years. We prefer lines that make you laugh, even if you haven’t seen the movie. We also prefer one quote rather than a dialogue to set it up. It doesn't matter if the film is funny, only that the line is. From over 80 years of funny quotes in film, here are our 50 favorites.

1. “There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other
people's cultures and the Dutch.”
Goldmember (2002) – Nigel Powers (Michael Caine)

2. “I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults
that we are. Isn't that right, Mr. Poopy Pants?”
The Naked Gun 2 ½: The Smell of Fear (1991) – Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen)

3. “I'm a mog - half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend.”
Spaceballs (1987) – Barf (John Candy)

4. “I couldn't believe it was her. It was like a dream. But there she was, just as I
remembered her. That delicately beautiful face. And a body that could melt a cheese
sandwich from across the room. And breasts that seemed to say. ”Hey! Look at
The Naked Gun 2 ½: The Smell of Fear (1991) – Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen)

5. “We Romans are rich. We've got a lot of gods. We've got a god for everything. The
only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation but I hear that's coming
History of the World Part I (1981) – Comicus (Mel Brooks)

6. “Dear Lillian, soon I hope to take you on a Caribbean cruise, where we can hold
hands on a soft summer's evening and watch that old Jamaican moon. Why that old
Jamaican will be mooning us, I have no idea.”
Brain Donors (1992) – Roland T. Flakfizer (John Turturro)

7. “I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille. I used to rub the dirty
Bananas (1971) – Fielding Mellish (Woody Allen)

8. “Attention. Here's an update on tonight's dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The
winner of tonight's mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed ‘some kind of
Meatballs (1979) – Tripper (Bill Murray)

9. “There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your
flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?”
Airplane (1980) – Elaine Dickinson (Julie Hagerty)

10. “Even Oedipus didn't see his mother coming.”
Basic Instinct 2 (2006) – Catherine Tramell (Sharon Stone)

11. “Time wounds all heels.”
Go West (1940) – S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx)

12. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.”
What About Bob? (1991) – Bob Wiley (Bill Murray)

13. “For just one night let’s not be co-workers. Let's be co-people.”
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004) – Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell)

14. “I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of
elderberries. Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time."
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) – French Soldier (John Cleese)

15. “What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let’s get the flock out of here.”
Lethal Weapon (1987) – Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson)

16. “God gave men brains larger than dogs' so they wouldn't hump women's legs at
cocktail parties.”
Hackers (1995) – Kate Libby (Angelina Jolie)

17. “The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.”
Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989) – Cliff Stern (Woody Allen)

18. “Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or
something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.”
Dumb and Dumber (1994) – Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels)

19. “I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my
A Night at the Opera (1935) – Otis B. Driftwood (Groucho Marx)

20. “I’m kind of psychic. I have a fifth sense. It’s like I have ESPN or something.”
Mean Girls (2004) – Karen Smith (Amanda Seyfried)

21. “Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marching across your face.”
Steel Magnolias (1989) – Truvy (Dolly Parton)

22. “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”
Animal House (1978) – Dean Wormer (John Vernon)

23. "A jester unemployed is nobody's fool."
The Court Jester (1955) - Hubert Hawkins (Danny Kaye)

24. “Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.”
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990) – Ford Fairlane (Andrew Dice Clay)

25. “Women need a reason for having sex, men just need a place.”
City Slickers (1991) - Mitch Robbins (Billy Crystal)

26. “When women go wrong, men go right after them.”
She Done Him Wrong (1933) – Lady Lou (Mae West)

27. “To do then now would be retro. To do then then was very now-tro, if you will.”
A Mighty Wind (2003) – Mark Shubb (Harry Shearer)

28. “Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.”
Annie Hall (1977) – Alvy Singer (Woody Allen)

29. “I don't date these girls because they're well-read. I gave one of them a copy of
"Farewell to Arms". She thought it was a diet book.”
The Mirror Has Two Faces (1996) – Henry Fine (George Segal)

30. “Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just get the one mahi because I’m not that hungry?”
The House Bunny (2008) - Shelley Darlingson (Anna Faris)

31. “If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer.”
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) – Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey)

32. “Do you know who I used to be?”
The Producers (1968) - Max Bialystock (Zero Mostel)

33. “I was thrown out of NYU my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. I
looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”
Annie Hall (1977) – Alvy Singer (Woody Allen)

34. “You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you.”
Animal Crackers (1930) – Captain Spaulding (Groucho Marx)

35. “If we bury you ass up, I’ve got a place to park my bike”.
Patch Adams (1998) – Patch Adams (Robin Williams)

36. “When God created woman, he gave her not two breasts but three. When the middle one
got in the way, God performed surgery. Woman stood before God, with the middle breast
in hand. Said, ‘What do we do with the useless boob?’, and God created man.”
A Prairie Home Companion (2006) – Dusty (Woody Harrelson)

37. “I have an interesting case. I'm treating two sets of Siamese twins with split
personalities. I'm getting paid by eight people.”
Zelig (1983) – Leonard Zelig (Woody Allen)

38. “During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were
compelled to live on food and water for several days.”
My Little Chickadee (1940) – Cuthbert J. Twillie (W.C. Fields)

39. “I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.”
So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993) – Charlie Mackenzie (Mike Myers)

40. “I have here an accident policy that will absolutely protect you no matter what happens.
If you lose a leg, we'll help you look for it.”
A Night at the Opera (1935) – Otis B. Driftwood (Groucho Marx)

41. "Normally, someone would have to go to a bowling alley to meet someone of your
Arthur (1981) - Hobson (John Gielgud)

42. “Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I never tried.”
Klondike Annie (1936) – The Frisco Doll (Mae West)

43. “Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.”
Naked Gun 33 ½ : The Final Insult (1994) – Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen)

44. “You know, my mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a
family of five million, you don't get any attention."
Antz (1998) - Z (Woody Allen)

45. “I was married. My husband cheated on me left and right. One day he tells me it's my
fault he saw other women. So I picked up a knife, and told him it was his fault I was
stabbing him.”
Living Out Loud (1998) – Liz Bailey (Queen Latifah)

46. “Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C.
on the Q.T.? 'cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could become a M.I.A. and then we'd all
be put out on K.P.”.
Good Morning Vietnam (1987) – Adrian Cronauer (Robin Williams)

47. "I'm Al Gore, I used to be the next president of the United States.”
An Inconvenient Truth (2006) – Al Gore (himself)

48. “I know, I know. We are your chosen people. But once in a while can't you choose
someone else?”
Fiddler on the Roof (1971) – Tevye (Topol)

49. “Don’t ever hit your mother with a shovel. It leaves a dull impression on her mind.”
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) – Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman)

50. “Which reminds me of the time an Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman, a Vicar, a Rabbi
and a Priest all go into a bar and the barman looks up and says 'Is this a joke?'”
Keeping Mum (2005) – Rev. Walter Goodfellow (Rowan Atkinson )

Watch the video: Die 20 BESTEN FILME aller Zeiten!